Childhood is quite different from adulthood when we are cared for as frail and vulnerable people. As adults, we are starting to follow a new set of rules and understand that we are only interested in ourselves over time. No one can drive us to success, give us their shoulder to cry on, or thank us when we did something good. And eventually, men will always be smarter, stronger, and more beautiful than us.
1. There’s no point in sacrificing yourself for others.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “I do for you all I can?” As a rule, a cold answer follows, “But have I ever told you to do that?”Let’s be honest: our efforts are not wanted by the people around us. Most often, this obtrusiveness makes them feel uncomfortable and annoying. Codependent conduct is the only exception to this scenario— when both people are satisfied with such a relationship.
2. None of us will get a medal at work.
They claim that it was a horse that most served in the village, but it never became the village’s head. You will face a similar unpleasant truth sooner or later: your employer and colleagues will realize that you are prepared to do any kind of job. And while you’re hurting your wellbeing by putting too much pressure on yourself, while sipping on another cup of coffee, they’re going to quietly update their newsfeed on social media or gossip. Yet did you expect your employer to thank you for the hard work that your teacher would do back in kindergarten?
3. Body positivity is not about the absence of self-care.
Unshaved knives, broken teeth, and a failure to use hygiene products are likely to make you look more like an untidy person than a body-positive follower. The body-positive movement’s main idea is to kindly treat other people and consider every presence worthily.
At the same time, brazen phrases such as “I love my rolls” typically mask laziness, show a lack of desire to hit the gym and illustrate poor care of their wellbeing.
4. Appearance matters.
You can talk endlessly about your rich inner world and your soul’s beauty, but it still holds true the saying, “people judge a book by its cover.” Not only are they evaluating one’s professional skills in interviews, but also the candidate’s personality, as well as their ability to communicate with others. In fact, a comfortable and tidy-looking person has more potential than an untidy to go on a successful date.
5. Being a good person is not a profession.
Despite having beautiful eyes, 3 kids, a mortgage, 4 loans, and a sick mom, nobody has to treat you well at work. The value of your work will always be of primary interest to Bosses. If you don’t bring many benefits to the organization at which you operate, expect to be replaced at any time by a more enthusiastic and hard-working individual.
6. Your mom isn’t always right.
Over time, we stop seeing our parents ‘ words and actions as absolute and unquestionable truth. Our philosophy of childhood is replaced by the perception that a mother and father are ordinary people whose shortcomings, bad habits and opinions are not always wise and real. That said, they could also make a bunch of mistakes in how they react to your behavior. This may sound sad, but sooner or later you will also disappoint your own boys.
7. You’ll have to study up to the retirement age or even longer.
Modern technology is developing with such speed that your profession might not even exist 10 to15 years from now. That means you should always be ready to learn something new and to increase your qualifications to become a specialist in your line of work.
8. If you don’t attend any events, people will stop inviting you after some time.
Only in kindergarten works the trick of getting offended, pouting, and waiting for others to call you to playback with them. Nobody is interested in adulthood playing these sports. Sooner or later you’re going to face the situation where your friends think you’re no longer interested in communicating with them and they’re going to forget you.
9. Training for improving self-confidence doesn’t work.
Creating “dream boards” full of luminous homes, palm beaches and expensive cars is pointless. Unless you actively work towards achieving your goals, all these tricks will not work. In fact, these activities are harmful as they often teach you how to exploit others.
People will start collecting their “heart wins” after taking courses on how to pick up women but will still feel lonely. And women will be persuaded that wearing a long skirt and giving a massage will make their partner get up from the couch and start earning millions.
10. We’re sorry but you’re not the center of the universe.
Have you ever done your nails, but felt sad because you didn’t get enough attention from your colleagues? Have you ever spent half your salary in a new suit and nobody knew that? Don’t feel upset, but try to remember the last time after seeing your friend got a new dress, you felt very pleased. The good news is nobody will note the crack or ripped tights in your sweater.
11. What you are now is your personal choice.
It’s all that simple: you are the only person in charge of your actions. It’s you who haven’t mastered it if you don’t know Spanish. If your boss wants to yell at you, it means letting them do it. No one is guilty of not moving to another city or of not being able to graduate from college and get married because “this is just what people have done.”
12. There’s always someone smarter, younger, and better than you.
Maybe the biggest hit on one’s self-esteem is the realization that people in this world are much better than you. We should keep flirting and celebrating our eighteenth birthday again and again, but note that every year we get older and our wrinkles get deeper. Men will start to conceal an emerging bald spot and pull up their tummy, while women will learn how to tie a kerchief around their neck to cover their not-so-young, imperfect skin.
All we have to do is accept this fact and calm down with the idea that each individual is special in their own way.
Would you think the facts are right? We would be pleased to hear your views in the post
Illustrated by Anastasiya Pavlova