Guy Winch, a family psychologist who has been counseling couples for more than 20 years, thinks that three main factors impact happiness and fulfillment in a relationship. More than that, these variables are not instinctual and need planning and learning. Skills that require a lot of practice must be created. Winch’s colleagues also speak about other behaviors that help couples remain happy for several years with their relationships.
1. Compassion
Compassion is the ability to envision yourself and give them some feedback in someone else’s shoes: encourage them or console them, be sad or happy together.
After you’ve lived with someone for a few years, you might think you know each other very well. However, in your way of building empathy for each other in the relationship, this may be an obstacle.
Practice your compassion to prevent this error. Try putting yourself in the role of someone else. Close your eyes and, taking into account the character of the person and the circumstances they are in, try to imagine how they must feel. Forget about your view of the situation and try to consider the feelings of the other person. This will encourage you to display empathy that is so important for a happier person.
2. Emotional understanding
To this one leads the previous point kind of. We mean that it’s important not only to be able to put yourself in the role of someone else when they’re in trouble but also during very heated arguments between the two of you.
Of course, very few people ever say during an argument: “You have the right to feel this way, and I understand that.” It seems that saying that can just make things worse, but it won’t. These words can have a miraculous impact. Your spouse will know that you appreciate their feelings and that you support the way they feel, even if you are angry. This awareness contributes to feeling relieved.
3. Attention and politeness
We are all likely to underestimate the worth of small acts of politeness and attentiveness. In relationships, a vicious circle sometimes appears: one partner indicates that they’re angry, the other one does the same, and it all leads to a serious confrontation. In this situation, affection, such as a flower bouquet, a favorite chocolate bar, a delicious meal, or a hug, will help take off the edge and break the circle.
4. Partnership
Some couples get so used to each other that they tend to regard each other as roommates. And each person begins to live their own life. In this case, when they make a decision, some individuals sometimes ignore the views of their partners.
And the worst thing you can do is this. Most certainly, this strategy would lead to regular disputes and breaking up. You should take important decisions, taking into consideration the opinion of your partner, to prevent this. Since these choices are likely to affect your life and that of your partner.
5. Speculation
Don’t try to read between the lines when something neutral or even good is said to you by your partner. You are worsening a non-existent dispute in this way. Or a fight in your head that just exists.
In any case, don’t guess, just ask your partner directly about what they really think.
6. Gratitude
Tell your partner how happy you are for every opportunity you have. You may not believe this, but these are magical words. Your partner is going to think that he or she is helpful, necessary, and know you really think this way. And you’re likely to hear more of the words “thank you” not only for anything significant but also for the usual stuff.
7. Not taking each other for granted
Boundaries, boundaries, and obligations are required for all relationships. And you shouldn’t take for granted anything in a relationship.
They need to work on it, learn to communicate, learn to fix conflicts, and make compromises to ensure that both partners are happy with a partnership. Don’t take the words or actions of your partner for granted. Your partner is going to do the same for you then.
8. Happiness
Most people agree that the person they love is responsible for their sense of contentment. This is only valid in part. Not someone else is the source of your happiness, it’s you. If you were dissatisfied with your life before the relationship, then only momentarily can the relationship change the situation. And the past feelings will return after that.
9. Gossiping
Never say something evil behind the back of your partner. It’s not even that he or she is most definitely going to find out and be angry. The problem is that you will actually fix the problem sooner or later, but your mother or friends to whom you complained will remember the bad words you said. And let’s be honest, you advised them to get help, and whether it was right or wrong at the time, it didn’t matter.
