According to psychologists, self-esteem and self-confidence are two different things. We can be quite self-assured while also having extremely low self-esteem, as seen by many celebrities who can perform in front of thousands of people but then harm themselves by leading an unhealthy lifestyle. Our self-esteem can be influenced by our partner in a relationship, and they can play a role in both destroying and raising it for us.
Makes decisions with far too much initiative.
Even if you are a spouse who dislikes making decisions, you may believe it is necessary for both of you to participate in making a decision. If your partner makes their own decision, they may be sending you a message that it’s not worth it to ask you since you don’t know enough about the topic or they don’t value your opinion. This might be anything from picking out new drapes for your flat to determining where to go on vacation: they will always make their own decisions.
Without asking if you like the images, she chooses which ones to put on social media.
While your partner compliments you on how you look when you’re sleepy, unwell, or in your sweats, it’s sweet. However, social media is frequently a public platform, and there are instances when you simply don’t want someone else to view photographs of you that you don’t think are particularly flattering. When your partner doesn’t ask you before uploading these images, you can take it as a desire to portray you in a negative manner while promoting themselves, which can be a devastating blow to your self-esteem. Even if they only wanted the best for you, it’s always better to come to a picture choice as a group.
Interrupts you in the middle of a conversation.
Interrupting is considered impolite. They don’t always mean it when they say it; they’re either too eager or terrified of forgetting what they’ve said. Interrupting someone, on the other hand, makes them feel as though you weren’t paying attention and that what they were trying to say is unimportant. Is there anything more depressing than realising that no one is interested in what you’re trying to say? If this happens frequently, you may begin to believe that there is no purpose in conversing at all.
Questioning your decisions.
They might be irritated by the tiniest of things. They may believe they’re being helpful when they constantly ask if your outfit is weather-appropriate: “Are you sure you don’t need your boots to be warmer?” It can sometimes be even more persistent: “Babe, you don’t want to change jobs.” It’s a great place to work, and I think a lot of people would enjoy working there.”
It may appear charming on the surface, and they truly mean well, but after the millionth time, it’s like, “Does he think I’m a child who can’t make smart decisions?” They make you believe you’re incapable of acting independently because of their incessant doubts, and they may be “killing” your ability to make decisions on your own.
By displaying a negative body language (like rolling their eyes).
Body language is a powerful tool. When it comes to warm and private conversation, it often speaks volumes. Rolling their eyes could mean “What you just said is foolish,” which you could read as “You’re stupid, and I loathe you in my thoughts.” If we’re talking about body language, crossing one’s arms, staring at a phone screen while a partner is speaking, or overall appearing distracted are all signs that they’re saying “I don’t care,” “stop talking,” or worse.
Being a slacker when it comes to things that are important to you.
Maybe you’re a budding singer or artist who really wants your partner to attend to your show and cheer you on. You may simply wish them to participate in some common household activities or go for a walk together. However, they despise art and would rather stay at home than venture out, so even their body language says, “I’d sooner die than perform your thing.”
In a relationship, partners must sometimes put up with each other and try to be helpful. Otherwise, you interpret their message as them being unconcerned about things that matter to you, and perhaps that your happiness isn’t a high enough priority for them. Ignorance can erode your self-esteem.
Constantly making suggestions
Constant suggestions are typically taken as a sign that we’re paying attention, that we care about what’s going on, and that we’re helpful. In truth, your partner may be so insistent on advising that you do something other than what you’ve selected that you begin to believe that you’ll never do anything right. Negative outcomes despite good intentions. If they wait until you directly ask for a recommendation, on the other hand, it’s a strong sign that they trust your decisions.
As if you’re a child, he talks down to you.
When one adult talks down to the other as if they’re a young child, it’s not very pleasant. When your partner acts like this in public or even in private, you may feel over-embarrassed and belittled. People feel devalued and useless as a result of this mentality. Your partner is not treating you with the respect that you deserve if they speak to you in this manner.
The majority of your suggestions are rejected by your companion.
Saying no is cool, according to psychologists, and more people should do it. If your partner, on the other hand, says “no” to every idea you have, they aren’t being encouraging or supportive, and this can seriously damage your self-esteem. It’s difficult to believe you have a decent idea when you hear “no” every time you suggest anything or think of doing something fun. You begin to believe that you do not have the freedom to pursue your own happiness and satisfaction.
They double-check or redo what you’ve already done.
If you follow your spouse about and double-check or redo everything they’ve done, you’re effectively telling them that they can’t handle things properly. Sure, it’s excellent to double-check things now and then, especially if they’re related to safety concerns, but you shouldn’t undervalue your partner’s efforts if the task is done well. If you really can’t help yourself, at the very least re-wash a dish or re-make the bed when they aren’t looking.
Because their words and deeds don’t always match, you’re left guessing.
Your partner may suggest seeing a fantastic movie together or purchasing new furnishings for your apartment, and you are delighted that you will have a good time or accomplish something for your home together. Then they abruptly alter their minds and recommend that you change your plans or cancel them without providing you a reason. This makes you feel that you’re the one who’s to blame for the abrupt change. Perhaps you said something inadvertently that caused them to rethink their minds? Your self-worth is severely harmed by this activity.
They give you too much advise or too much assistance.
If you succeed at something, your partner may become jealous of your accomplishments and try to keep you back. This kind of mentality eats away at your self-esteem. They may continually offer their assistance or provide you with unwelcome advise in order to demonstrate that they know better and can do better. Due you’re always apprehensive because of this interruption, you can’t pursue your dreams or attain success. You begin to feel as though you need their help all of the time since your own knowledge and abilities are simply insufficient.
They refuse to argue.
If your partner refuses to fight, it’s safe to assume they don’t believe something is worth fighting for. If they always close the conversation or say things like “I don’t even want to talk about this with you,” they’re delivering the idea that they’re always right or don’t care what you have to say. You may feel worthless as a result of this. They don’t have to fight, but they should give you a chance to speak.
Misplacing your feelings.
Your partner could be stressed out from life, unhappy at work, or concerned about something. It’s not acceptable, however, to take it out on yourself. They make you feel like it’s your responsibility when they’re always depressed, unhappy, or irritable. You may just chalk it up to them not like you or the fact that you can’t make them happy. However, it is not your obligation to ensure them happiness, and they must, of course, communicate their feelings. However, this must always be expressed effectively to avoid a situation in which you take things personally due to a lack of information.
They express affection that is conditional.
It’s easy to feel that you’re not good enough for your lover if you’re continuously trying to earn their love and approval. You attempt to do the right thing every day when you wake up. This type of behaviour is not indicative of a happy relationship. Your lover isn’t behaving in a loving manner toward you. You should avoid getting into a relationship where you feel obligated to perform in order to be liked. You are deserving of love for who you are rather than what you can do.
What is it about what other people say or do that makes you feel insecure?
